Day 14 Nope

 Ok, Nope. I didn't manage to resist the amazing desserts last night. I ate them. And some Doritos. And had a beer. None of which was low carb. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Another Day

I am journaling my emotions. Yay for me. I was just sitting in the kitchen while my daughter was watching a show and she was playing with a fidget device that was making a noise that I realized was slowly driving me batty. Once I realized what the sound was, I couldn't unhear it and I couldn't get rid of the tension in my gut. I was supposed to be relaxing while doing a puzzle, but I was getting more and more worked up. So I have retreated to the bedroom. I'm hoping that the more time I spend not drinking and eating relatively healthy and exercising the more these things won't bother me. Plus journaling. I hope so.  I did hike yesterday. And play with kids.
Read more

Day, Um...?

 Ok, the last time I published a post on this blog was literally exactly two years ago today. Something about this time of year must get to me. So what has happened the last two years? Well, lifewise, just life. Nothing exciting, nothing earth shattering. Just life. Mental healthwise? Bad. An endless circling the drain depression that has kept me at the same weight and probably about the same fitness level for the past two years. My default is now lying in bed when no one else is in the house. I am bed rotting. I am a fat, depressed, bed-rotting 46 year old who is having trouble seeing the point of anything. Nothing feels worth the effort. I don't want to do anything. And I am having trouble getting up the energy (mental or otherwise) to get healthy because what's the point? I don't want to extend this pain any longer than I have to. I think this is what those in the know call suicidal ideation. I'm not actually suicidal. I just don't see the point in living and jus...
Read more
 I was doing 1200 calories. I think that's too low. I had zero energy to do anything yesterday and actually felt awful and got a migraine. I still managed to do day 3 of C25K, but it was brutal. I'm hoping eating more will help that, given that I'm exercising almost every day. I'm trying more like 1400 now. Hopefully it will help and give me more energy and still allow me to lose weight. I'm no impatient. I don't want to wait.  I also really need to be patient about sleeping. I'm not sleeping well enough right now. Last night I spent two hours stressing about everything at 3 a.m. Kids' social lives, college costs, where they'll get into college, how we'll pay, etc. It would have been much better to be sleeping instead. I'm now almost two weeks after I last had something to drink last Saturday (and before that it had been a month). I want to go 6 whole months here and see how I do, exercise-wise, diet-wise, mood-wise, sleep-wise, etc. I'm ...
Read more