I don't want to count days. This has to be sustainable for the rest of my life. Otherwise, it won't work. I also have to get back to eating breakfast, even though I'm not hungry in the morning. I did today and I feel annoyingly full now. I'm going for a hike while W has run club, so hopefully it won't be too big a problem. If I were going running this would not be so great. I really want to run and I need to eat breakfast. I don't know how to reconcile these things. Maybe it means going for a run later in the morning. Tomorrow is run day. I guess I'll figure that out then. I woke up vaguely more hopeful today. I guess that's from the run. A little bit of hope is good.
I am journaling my emotions. Yay for me. I was just sitting in the kitchen while my daughter was watching a show and she was playing with a fidget device that was making a noise that I realized was slowly driving me batty. Once I realized what the sound was, I couldn't unhear it and I couldn't get rid of the tension in my gut. I was supposed to be relaxing while doing a puzzle, but I was getting more and more worked up. So I have retreated to the bedroom. I'm hoping that the more time I spend not drinking and eating relatively healthy and exercising the more these things won't bother me. Plus journaling. I hope so. I did hike yesterday. And play with kids.
Well, maybe because I said I was cruising yesterday, but today is harder. I had too much wine last night (probably too high carb) and felt kind of rotten today. Then I had to run a Valentine's Day party for 52 5th graders (not my favorite activity). On top of that, I have a sick kid at home, and my husband wanted to share one of our favorite beers and some dessert tonight, so this was supposed to be a planned carb indulgence. However, with the sick kid and just general tired Tuesday night-ness (and the fact that I'd just as soon skip Valentine's Day anyway), we decided to postpone our mini date night to this weekend. So I had a keto-friendly lunch and dinner and put the beer and the dessert away for a few days. But oh my god. I know those desserts are sitting in the freezer and I want them so badly. Something about just knowing that they are there has me on edge. I could just sneak them and go out and get new ones for when we want them, and no one would know! But where has...
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