Day 13 - Squeaking By

 Well, maybe because I said I was cruising yesterday, but today is harder. I had too much wine last night (probably too high carb) and felt kind of rotten today. Then I had to run a Valentine's Day party for 52 5th graders (not my favorite activity). On top of that, I have a sick kid at home, and my husband wanted to share one of our favorite beers and some dessert tonight, so this was supposed to be a planned carb indulgence.

However, with the sick kid and just general tired Tuesday night-ness (and the fact that I'd just as soon skip Valentine's Day anyway), we decided to postpone our mini date night to this weekend. So I had a keto-friendly lunch and dinner and put the beer and the dessert away for a few days. But oh my god. I know those desserts are sitting in the freezer and I want them so badly. Something about just knowing that they are there has me on edge. I could just sneak them and go out and get new ones for when we want them, and no one would know!

But where has that type of thing ever gotten me before now? It's such unhealthy behavior, mentally, physically, emotionally...secret binge eating. I HAVE to break the habit and the pattern. So tonight I am challenging myself and NOT eating that dessert. I have some spice tea I'm drinking instead, and I'm journaling here. I have 13 days under my belt, including today, and I'm NOT going to break that streak tonight, no matter how loudly that chocolate is calling my name. I also know that, if history is any judge, this secret binge would set me down a path of destruction that is so, so hard to recover from. I've been successful for 13 days now. I won't break that streak. I just won't. I won't. 

I might have to go throw those $12 of pastries in the garbage to avoid this...